Book Review :: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People

I can't think of more appropriate book review to end 2009 on.... or maybe it is to start 2010.

Stephen Covey's The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People has been on my TBR pile for years and years, and just now have I taken the time to read it. And, I'm really sorry for the lost time.

I've told a couple of people as I've been reading 7 Habits that this should be required reading for every high school senior, and then it should be re-read every ten years after. 7 Habits is as applicable to the stay-at-home mom as it is the CEO of a large company or someone whose salary depends on cold-call selling. It should also be required reading as part of any premarital counseling.

In very practical, logical, sequential but deeply meaningful ways, Stephen Covey describes how to achieve a meaningful life. While the title uses the word effective, I think that what 7 Habits teaches is much more than that. 7 Habits reaches into the core of our life - not just what it is made up of, but why it exists and how we can actively make it better. Think of every other self-help book that you've read. They are like the exercise program that is going to whip your body into shape. 7 Habits is the re-scripting chemical that actually changes the DNA.

I am a big proponent of goal setting. In fact, this Fall I've gotten quite adept at leading a goal setting workshop. One of the things I loved about this book is it has you step back from your goal setting and think about why you have the goals you do - it has you write a personal mission statement that constitutes your core values by which you not only set goals, but make decisions, solve problems, negotiate roadblocks, etc.

There are many "nuggets" within 7 Habits, and most of these are things we've heard before; but here they are given within a framework illustrating why they are so important and how they can fundamentally change our effectiveness as an individual. Some of them are:

• The importance of being proactive rather than reactive.
• Distinguishing between your Circle of Concern and your Circle of Influence and working to focus (and expand when you can) your Circle of Influence, leaving behind the frustration of spinning your wheels within your Circle of Concern.
• Begin with the end in mind.
• Organize and execute around priorities.
• Invest in the Emotional Bank Account of those around you.
• Look for opportunities of Win/Win. Seek the third alternative.
  
• Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
• Synergy means the whole is greater than the sum of its parts: seek synergy with others and within yourself.
• Sharpen the saw; take time for personal renewal physically, mentally, spiritually and socially/emotionally.
  

 Some great quotes...
"It is so much easier to blame other people, conditioning, or conditions for our own stagnant situation. But we are responsible - 'response-able' - to control our lives and to powerfully influence our circumstances by working on be, on what we are."

"If we do not develop our own self-awareness and become responsible for first creations, we empower other people and circumstances outside our Circle of Influence to shape much of our lives by default. We re-actively live the scripts handed to us by family, associates, other people's agendas, the pressures of circumstance - scripts from our earlier years, from our training, our conditioning."

"Keep in mind you are always saying 'no' to something. If it isn't to the apparent, urgent things in your life, it is probably to the more fundamental, highly important things. Even when the urgent is good, the good can keep you from your best."

"Change - real change - comes from the inside out. It doesn't come from hacking at the leaves of attitude and behavior with quick fix personality ethic techniques. It comes from striking at the root - the fabric of our thought, the fundamental, essential paradigms, which give definition to our character and create the lens through which we see the world."

My recommendation? If you haven't read it, make this one a high priority - put it at the top of your TBR pile. If you have but it has been awhile, it may be worth dusting off.

Wrapping up 2009

So in wrapping up 2009, it has been a pretty eventful year for me where books are concerned. When I started the year, I had a couple of goals: read 30 books, and of those, read 5 non-fiction and 5 classics. I'll finish this year with 37 books read and another 11 on audio. I've met my non-fiction goal with 8, but not my classics goal (only 3).

Early on in the year - while reading Choose Your Life - I also decided that I wanted to start writing again, and this blog has give me that opportunity as well. And, speaking of the blog, I had no idea it would end up being read by so many people. Seriously, when I started writing, I figured I could count on about 10 faithful followers - my husband, a few good friends who are readers, my mom, etc. Early in December I saw that I was in the high 400's for unique visitors, I thought I'd hope to hit 500 by the end of the year. Those hopes were dashed when I redesigned the site and forgot to add the analytics code back into the html. So I actually lost 11 days of tracking. But I guess that didn't matter, because this morning when I checked, I've had 514 unique viewers. Wow. This is really amazing, and actually pretty humbling.

So, all in all, I feel pretty good about my year, and I am very excited about 2010!

Also, in the form of a wrap-up, here are my top five from my 2009 reads: (in no particular order)
Ava's Man
The Space Between Us
The Book Thief
Perfume
Runaway

As far as audio tapes, my favorite was Between, Georgia.

So again, for those who are stopping by, are reading and especially for those of you who comment, thank you. And what about you? What were your top reads of 2009?

Congratulations to me... & You vote on what I should buy

2009 is shaping up to have been a profitable year in blogging in that I've won two other blogger's contests. The first was Dr. Wes' contest related to submitting a picture that gives your thoughts on healthcare reform.

The second and most recent was on my good friend's blog (aka Bunny) for posting my year in review. For her site I am the recipient of an Amazon gift card. This is the type that burns the proverbial hole in my inbox so I must spend it.

Here's the thing: I will use it for books. And, I've gotten into the habit of not keeping all books, but recycling as many as possible. It is now the special occasion that I purchase a book. So, to purchase one it has to be one that I feel has a strong chance of meriting permanent space on my shelf.

So, I know that one of the books I will purchase is Frederick Buechner's Godric. This is one I've been meaning to read for years, and because of the author, is "shelf-worthy."

Others in the running are:
Alice Munro Too Much Happiness
Janice Lee The Piano Teacher
Victoria Hislop The Return
Anita Diamant Day after Night
Stieg Larsson The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Or is there another one?  Vote by leaving the title of the book you want me to purchase in the comments section of this post. Vote soon since you know that credit is burning a hole!

Book Review :: Island of Lost Girls

Please don't let these last two reviews portend what's to come for 2010...

"The truth was, when the rabbit got out of the car, there in Pat's Mini Mart parking lot at quarter to three on a Monday afternoon, it didn't occur to Rhonda that there might be a person inside."

What a great line! This quote from the novel used on the back cover gave me high expectations for Jennifer Mcmahon's Island of the Lost Girls - expectations that were not realized.

Island of Lost Girls is about a child abduction witnessed by the main character, Rhonda. The story alternates between current time (2006) and Rhonda's early adolescent years - 1993. Witnessing the abduction and then living through and participating in the investigation (more than she should have been), rekindles memories from childhood of her relationship with another girl who eventually went missing - her best friend Lizzy - and Lizzy's older brother Peter, for whom Rhonda has been harboring a near 20-year crush.

What is so insanely frustrating about this book is that Rhonda obviously knows more than what she tells the police about the abduction that she sees. (See previous post about unlikable / flawed main characters.) She immediately connects the person wearing the rabbit suit to Lizzy and Peter's father. But because Peter is an early suspect, she is afraid that her information will add to his apparent guilt. Did I mention Peter is married with a kid? Yeah, Rhonda needs to grow up and get over it.

While Peter is ultimately vindicated (the guilty parties are another bit of a hat trick), what he's been hiding that makes him look guilty is the mystery behind the disappearance of his father in 1993 and younger sister several years later - a story line that might not be too bad if it were better developed. Mix in a bunch of irrelevant submarine imagery and perhaps not as irrelevant but equally annoying, production of Peter Pan, and there you have Island of Lost Girls.

In the end, what was most disappointing for me is that similar to The Rest of Her Life, the author had a great idea that was poorly executed.

Book on Tape :: Burning Bright

Like at least two of her previous works, Tracy Chevalier's Burning Bright is a fictionalized account of a historical artist's creation, in this case William Blake's Songs of Innocence and Songs of Experience.

I really liked my two previous encounters with Chevalier - The Girl with the Pearl Earring and The Lady and the Unicorn. Like Burning Bright, these novels take the historical setting that the artists lived in and create a story about the proposed motivation and inspiration of great and familiar works of art. Based on these works and what a huge fan I am of the British Romantics, I was hoping for something great from Burning Bright. I was disappointed.

The story centers on the Kellaway family, a family of four who has just moved from the quiet and quaint countryside (innocence) to the hustle and bustling London (experience). In addition to these four, there's another family of four - the Butterfield's - whose youngest daughter befriends the youngest son of the Kellaway's. Together they also get to know the Kellaway's mysterious and intriguing neighbor - William Blake.

In addition, there is the historically accurate Astley's Circus, owned by Philip Astley and run by his philandering son, John.

All of these folks are pretty interesting and well developed characters. But, there. is. no. plot. none. nada. Not until disk eight of ten does something happen that you think, "Is this the start of a story?" And while it is the start of something, it isn't enough to save the work.

In the book's defense, I'm sure a group could have a pretty decent discussion about the concepts of innocence and experience, the efforts of one to save or become the other, or what happens when the two are unexpectedly thrown together by circumstance.

However, Chavalier's ending was the icing on the cheese cake. Blake gives Maggie Butterfield and Jem Kellaway each one of his Songs books, and they can't figure out which book was meant for whom. This was a bit too campy for characters who have embodied their title attribute throughout.

I think what is most disappointing is that I've really been looking forward to Chevalier's 2010 publication, Remarkable Creatures. Now, I may not be so quick to pick this one up.

Merry Christmas from Babbette!

In which Babbette Joins Yet Another Challenge

I really am resisting becoming one of those people. You know, the one that joins all the challenges.

But you see, this one plays to a weakness. I love themes in literature. I love looking for themes, finding themes, discussing themes, even arguing for obscure themes that are only apparent after peeling through layers of other themes.

So, I caved. This Challenge is being offered by Stacey over at Unruly Reader. 

Here's the deal:
Choose one word a theme you want to focus on during 2010—your “theme” for the year.

Usually it will be a word related to improving one’s life—words such as happiness, balance, simplicity, creativity, abundance, serenity… or come up with your own!

Then—read books related to that word.

Choose your level of participation:

THEME THING: Read 5 books related to your theme—at least 1 fiction and 1 nonfiction.

THEME MANIA: Read 7 books related to your theme—at least 2 fiction and 2 nonfiction.

THEME SUPREME: Read 10 books related to your theme—at least 3 fiction and 3 nonfiction.

Rules:
1. The challenge runs from January 1 – December 31, 2010.
2. Participants may join anytime before December 31.
3. Re-reads and overlaps with other challenges are fine.
4. Audiobooks count!
5. No need to list your books beforehand, and no need to write reviews.
6. Create an intro post linking to her blog & post a comment that you're joining here. (If you don't blog, skip to #9.)
7. Then sign up here via Mr. Linky (at her blog here), using your intro post’s address. Please use this style: blog name (theme word); e.g., Unruly Reader (balance)
8. Add a Comment to her post, telling us your theme word and your level of participation.
****
9. For Babbette readers who don't blog, post your theme in the comments below, and I'll create a page for you like I've done with the other challenges.

*****

You'll notice that I modified her instructions from a one word theme to a theme with multiple words...that's because my theme is going to be "the power of the written word." And, I'll go for the level of "Theme Mania."

Come on & join me!

Book Review :: The Grass Harp and Other Stories

What do you get when a judge, one half of a pair of old spinster sisters, an Indian and a 16 year-old boy decide to move to the woods and live in a dilapidated tree house? You get the apropos backdrop for a Southern novella, part of Truman Capote's collection The Grass Harp: Including The Tree of Night and Other Stories.

I first read Capote in college - Children on Their Birthdays - which happens to be a part of this collection - and somewhat like my experience of reading Alice Munro earlier this year, it felt comfortable to be reading Capote again. Most of the stories could be called Southern gothic, though after The Grass Harp, the stories alternate in setting between the south and New York City, much like Capote himself.

And, as I was reading these, there was distinct nagging to be back in Dr. Hitchcock's Southern Lit class where we could discuss the complex pscychological and interpersonal layers that make Capote's characters both appalling and intriguing. Children are frequent characters in this collection - showing up to shine a spotlight on an adult's inner psyche. Such is the case with 12 year-old Miriam, who actually may not even exist except as a hallucinatory alter-ego of the main character with the same name.

Dreams are another common theme in the collection. They appear in the literal sense (a dream a character may have at night) but quickly take on a figurative meaning as with the character who begins "selling her dreams" only to find herself lost of self. And, mirroring the author's life, there are many dream chasers.

And so, with this strong urge to talk about these stories, has anyone read the collection? In honor of Capote, I think it only fitting we share a bottle to discuss!

Guest Review :: Fat Girl: A True Story

Guest Reviewer: bunny of bunnygoround.blogspot.com
Fat Girl: A True Story by Judith Moore

Fat Girl is a memoir, the story of Judith Moore’s life as an overweight child, teen and adult. I admit, I was a little unsure what I was getting into with this one—the cover and reviews all repeat the same type of verbiage: “searingly honest,” “breathtakingly frank,” “not for the faint of heart,” “unflinching,” “stark.” I think you get the drift.

And, indeed, this book does pack an emotional punch, though Moore warns the reader in her introduction of what is to come. She starts out with the history of her parents, then their courtship, building to her birth to her father, the spoiled child of a well-to-do family, and her mother, who is poor but very pretty…and very mentally unstable.

Her story continues—the divorce of her parents while she is very young, a father who abandons her, an abusive mother who resents her because she views Moore as holding her back from being the famous singer she aspires to be. Moore is shifted from parent to grandparent to uncle, and as her capacity to endure her loveless life grows, so does her weight.

Moore speaks of her life with an almost odd detachment and a sense of candor that is often merciless. I admit that I was drawn to this book because, well, I am fat. And there were parts of the book that resonated with me—descriptions of situations that only those who have been fat could understand. The one that hit home the most is when she describes dressing up for a special event and thinking she looked pretty, then later seeing photos of the event and realizing she just looked fat…“It may come as a surprise to you—or maybe it won’t—but I often do not realize I am fat, or how fat I am…So when I see photographs…I am shocked by the difference between how I believed I looked and how I did look.” I, too, have had that same shocked feeling.

Based on events mentioned in the book, I assume Moore would be 60+ now, which means she grew up during the 40s, 50s and 60s, before obesity was the epidemic it is now. While many thin people probably still feel disdain or pity for fat people, sadly, it is less of a shock today to see someone who is obese. I don’t know that it makes a difference, but I thought it was worth noting.

Is this book a tough read? Definitely. Do I think this book is worth reading? Definitely. I don’t know many people who haven’t, at some time, struggled with their weight or food and who wouldn’t relate to some passage in this book. However, I wish Moore had gone a step further. She rushes the end, taking the whole book to cover her life to about 12-years-old then, in the last chapter, covering high school, college and her adulthood.  Of course, throughout the book, I, probably like most readers, keeps thinking “her weight is because she was unloved, has no self-worth, was abused.” But, at the end Moore states lack of love is not why she is fat…"Would love have done me any good? Love, I think, would not have made me thin. Plus, by the time I thought of love as an answer, it was too late for love. I was too fat for love." Maybe love would not have made her thin, but maybe the question is…would it have kept her from becoming fat?

Book on Tape Review :: Never Let Me Go

***Spoiler Alert***

I'm not sure what it is about donating organs, but this theme keeps following me around!

Kazuo Ishiguro's novel, Never Let Me Go, subtly augments contemporary Britain into a dystopic society with a unique population of children who have been specifically created - cloned to be exact - to become organ donors in their adult life. If it weren't for this fact, Never Let Me Go might be mistaken as a typical story of friendship, love and jealousy set in a boarding school for students with high aptitude for art.

Instead, it is the story of three friends - Kathy, Ruth and Tommy - and what happens when growing up intersects with the growing knowledge of what your purpose in life is. As adults, these three are reconnected when Kathy becomes Ruth's "carer" - the person who cares for you through your "donations" until your "completion." The reunion forces the three to come to terms with their time at the boarding school Hailsham where Kathy and Ruth were best friends, but friendship gave way to jealousy as Ruth observed a special closeness between Kathy and her boyfriend, Tommy.

Unlike the characters of The Unit who are sent for donations only after being deemed as lacking value to society, the children of Hailsham have only one destiny. However, they are never really told this - as is read, they are "told but not told." They are given small bits of information and this, with what they observe or overhear, they use to create in their minds what lays ahead for them in life.

One particularly puzzling activity is that as they are encouraged to produce various types of art and then periodically "Madame" comes and takes the best pieces away for her gallery. The reason for this practice was woven into the rumors that the students create, and only many years later do Kathy and Tommy learn that it had less to do with them individually and more to do with them collectively. As the pair finally have the opportunity to be together as a couple, they confront "Madame" about her gallery and learn that as things seemed very orderly inside of Hailsham, on the outside, the leaders were facing a political battle and the art was used as evidence that the children had souls.

Never Let Me Go really seems to be two books in one. The relationships that Kathy, Ruth and Tommy share are as round and worthy discussion as any trio I've met in recent fiction. And then there is this thing of the donations... and "possibles" and "completions" and "deferrals" - all euphemisms for ideas much larger than they seem. Neither story disappoints.

Book Challenge :: 2010 Mixology

You already know that I have taken on the 2010 TBR Challenge hosted by MizB. In addition to just thinking about reducing the size of my TBR, I want to think about what my 'mix' of books for 2010 will look like. So, what I'm talking about is less of a challenge and is more goal setting.

For 2009 I set three goals as they related to reading: 30 books total, 5 non-fiction, and 5 classics. Two out of three ain't bad, so I hear.

So, for 2010, my "challenge" is called Mixology, and the rules are pretty simple.

1. List how many books total you want to read in 2010.

2. List no less than 4 categories for these books and determine how many you'll read in each category. Examples of categories:
by class: fiction / non-fiction / contemporary / classic / newly published / award winning (Booker, Pulitzer)
by genre: historical fiction, religious fiction, fantasy, sci-fi, dystopian literatur, memoir, biography, personal or professional growth
by class of author: female / male / Asian / Middle Eastern
other: TBR / review (ARC) books

3. These books can overlap with other challenges AND even fit more than one category within this challenge.

4. Audio books do count; re-reads do not.

Here are my 2010 Mixology Goals:
1. 40 books total
2. 10 "New to me" Award-winning authors (authors I've never read but have won awards)
3. 8 non-fiction
4. 5 classics
5. 6 review or ARC books
6. 12 from my TBR

If you don't have a blog, and you want to participate, post your list in the comments. (I'll create a page for you, and I'll update it as you send updates to me.) If you do have a blog, add your own post to the Mr. Linky list below. 

Babbette's Book Challenge - Mixology

Sorry for the bad link....go here instead.

Book Review :: The Heretic's Daughter

**SPOILER ALERT**

Kathleen Kent's debut novel is part historical fiction and part family memoir. The Heretic's Daughter is based on one of Kent's own ancestor's - Sarah Carrier - whose mother, Martha, was of the many innocents executed during the Salem witch trials. One of the reasons I loved this novel was for much of the same reason I liked Sarah's Key and Guernesy - I learned more about the historical time of which it was written.

In The Heretic's Daughter, Kent gives us her extensive research on the dates and events as well as the imaginative depiction of ten-year-old Sarah, who is caught in a family first accused, and then turned accusers (as was common during this time).

Martha is always thought odd by her neighbors, and so no one is surprised when her brother-in-law names her as a witch. The impending arrest allows Martha and Sarah a final opportunity to make the best of a strained mother/daughter relationship, and in this moment, Martha entrusts to Sarah the family history. Eventually Sarah and her three brothers are also arrested and so these five family members join dozens more held in small cells with the jailers cellar, and live for months in horrid conditions with little food.

Descriptions of how the trials were conducted, the methods of torture used to coerce confessions, the inhumane conditions of the cells, and the execution and burial of the condemned all expose harsh light on this dark period of American history, that up until now my knowledge had been limited to what I gained from The Scarlett Letter.

The historical backdrop aside, I think Kent's depiction of family relationships - mother/daughter, father/daughter and sibling rivalry -are themselves worthy of discussion. Sarah's relationships with both of her parents, while they seem distant and sometimes cruel, serve her well as she is forced to grow up quickly in very unchildlike circumstances. An item of note, Sarah uses her neighbors' suspicions of her mother - since she is her mother's daughter - to her advantage when needed.

An interesting subplot within The Heretic's Daughter is the story of Sarah's father and the mysterious family history that Martha hands to Sarah, making her promise she'll not read it until she's older. While the neighbors are wary of Sarah's mother, they seem to respectfully fear her father. Though he's tall and formidable, it seems to have more to do with his life in England before America and the tattered red army coat the garden scarecrow wears. In the end it is revealed that he was the executioner of King Charles the First - a death directly related to Charles' assertion of the Divine Right of Kings in his attempt for absolute power. Thus, Kent draws the comparison of  Charles' reign to that of the religious leaders of the new Puritan state.

The Heretic's Daughter is a richly layered story, worthy of time and talk.

I need your help!

A week or so ago I posted about a contest that Dr. Wes was hosting - submitting a photo that illustrated your thoughts on healthcare reform.... remember that?

Well, now I need your help! Go here and vote! If you need a hint on which photo to vote for, I don't own a cat, or a lot of beanie babies, or a bicycle. But, my hubs did happen to snap a picture of bride being bitten by a mosquito this summer...

Not telling you who to vote for, I'm just sayin'.....

Reading Challenge for 2010

As I've gotten to know the book blogging world this year, something that has constantly intrigued me are the endless number of book challenges. Bloggers are forever challenging their readers to "read x number of books this year," or "read 20 books of poetry by x date," or "read 10 Asian novels" and so on. In short, it is goal setting. And encourages readers to get outside of their comfort zone or "read outside the box."

While I've like the idea, none of them have been challenges that I've wanted to accept - until now. MizB is issuing a repeat of a challenge she has offered in the past called the TBR (To Be Read) Challenge and the rules are simple: read 12 books from your TBR pile. Well, it's not that simple. You have to make & publish the list for others to see by January 1, 2010, and you can't change the list (after Jan. 1). But you can have an additional list of 12 as back-ups.

So, I'm going to participate, and I'm inviting you along for the fun as well. If nothing else, it will help me move some books off my TBR. Here's what you need to do:

• Make a list of 12 books (plus 12 alternates) from your TBR pile that you will commit to read in 2010.
• You can publish your list by commenting on my blog.
• Audio books do count; re-reads do not.

Periodically I'll check in with you to see how you're coming with your list, and I'll let you know how I'm coming with mine.

So, here's my list: (in no particular order)
Who Moved My Cheese by Dr. Spenser Johnson
Hate, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage by Alice Munro
The Children's Book by AS Byatt
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
Abide with Me by Elizabeth Strout
The Art of Keeping Secrets by Patti Callahan Henry
Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult
The Senator's Wife by Sue Miller
Into the Tunnel by Goltz Aly
She's Come Undone by Wally Lamb
Saints at the River by Ron Rash
The Girl Who Stopped Swimming by Joshilyn Jackson

Alternates:
1984 by George Orwell
Brooklyn by Colm Toibin
The Return by Victoria Hislop
The Known World by Edward P. Jones
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
The Stone Diaries by Carol Shields
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson
Into Thin Air by Jo Krakauer
Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult
Juniper Tree Burning by Goldberry Long
The Thief Taker by Janet Gleeson
Austerlitz by W.G. Sebald

Here's to moving some books off your TBR in 2010!  Happy Reading!